I need help with my 3 year old Noah. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. He has been in destructo mode for the last few days and I'm about ready to strangle the darling child. Seriously. I started to make a list of all the things he has done in the past 5 days alone:
* thrown nearly 2 dozen eggs all over the sidewalk
* emptied about 1/2 of a tube of toothpaste on the stairs (the carpeted stairs ofcourse)
* dumped out 1/2 can of formula (that stuff is worth gold to me)
* dumped out a full bottle of carpet cleaner
* dumped out a huge bottle of hand sanitizer
* dumped out lotion onto his carpet in his bedroom and shoved his crackers in it
* unrolled a whole container of dental floss
* unrolled a roll of tape
* dumped scented oil onto my couch
* several potty training accidents (not his fault entirely, I have been inconsistent with training him)
* dumped out a bottle of handsoap
* crumbled up a stick of deodorant
My life has been crazy busy lately with many people vying for my attention. I feel like he is acting out to get the attention he feels he is lacking. Most of these things happen when I'm putting Asher to bed, or distracted in some other way. He doesn't do it in a mean way. In fact, he is surprised when I get angry! My friend suggested he may have a sensory seeking need and that's why he dumps things out??? I know he needs more one on one time, so I took him out this evening. It was only to run to the store, but Judson and Asher weren't invited and he felt special about that. I feel like he is, overall, a happy kid. So, why all the dumping??? Middle child syndrome? Ugh. I'm worn out. I know it's normal for all kids to make messes, but doesn't this seem like a bit much??? Judson went through a phase like this when he was this age too, so maybe it's a 3 -year-old thing??? I'm "trying" not to give him too much negative attention, but there have been times when I've lost it and started yelling. In fact, confession time, I held him upside down this afternoon when I saw the scented oil on the couch. He HATES being held upside down. Call it abusive if you will, it felt good to scare the daylights out of that child for nearly destroying my furniture! Then, I put him in time out, and he fell asleep with the most angelic look on his face. I went in and watched him sleep, kissed him, and prayed for more patience.
9 comments:
amy, amy. i would loose my patients with all of the dumping too. my kids get more naughty and when they need attention too, that doesn't make it any easier though. i had a friend who had a big tub of beans (or rice) in her house. her kid could play in it, like a he would in sand. this kid did had some autism, but it was a sensory thing for him. she also had a mini trapoline in his room that he could jump on.
good luck!
my grandma would say "be careful what you pray for because the Lord will give you opportunity to get it!" :)
I'm sorry it has been such a frustrating week. maybe he need karate lessons or something to wear him out! If I were there, I'd bake you some cinnamon rolls and take Noah out on a date to the park.
Oh Amy I am soo not jealous!!! Man that is hard, I think I would have strangled him!! Your soo good to pray for paitence but also for understanding!! Good luck I am not looking forward to 3!
I think he needs to come visit me. I have to say that I LOVE that he hates upside down and that is the way you held him. Obviously he has found something YOU don't like and is working it, so a little of "this is how I feel" for him is a great idea. Motherhood is hard. You hold that baby in your arms and are SURE that he is PERFECT! You see his potential so much clearer (or maybe just more biased) than your own. You are sure that Jesus has given you the BEST spirit He has - and then they turn into a child and you wonder why they are acting like children - DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND THAT THEY ARE PERFECT? This is a part of motherhood that I wasn't prepared for. I'm glad that you watch him sleep. Sure does help when they are perfect again - even if it is due to unconciousness.
If it helps any, I'm sure your mom is dying laughing as she follows him in his endevours. I think she is probably saying, "No! Stop! Oh, your mom is going to flip her lid!!!" but she is laughing the whole time - so who is going to take that seriously?
I have been having issues with Cody as well but nothing like that! I am sorry that he is in a "Dumping" stage. Cody is just destructive in other ways and hes mean. I mostly think its the age thing. I call it the "Impossible 3's". I would rather him be 2 again then 3. Have you tried doing a "Good Chart"? For every GOOD thing he does reward him with something he likes....maybe it will get him to stop doing the things he is not suppose to. For Cody...if he is helpful, does things with out being asked to do them etc he gets a sticker and if he continues for the rest of the day he gets a lollipop. Things like that seem to calm him down a bit. I hope things get figured out for you!
Patience we all need more of that as mothers!! I think that you are a wonderful example of that. Patience it's sooo hard though at times good luck.
It can be really hard to determine if an action is a sensory need vs. behavior, or maybe even a little bit of both. I came across this alot working with special education students. I'm coming to Utah soon--we should talk more! I like the idea someone suggested of having a "dumping zone" (e.g., a kiddie pool with a BIG tarp underneath) where he can safely dump to his heart's content while knowing that if he dumps anywhere else there will be consequences. Another thing that popped into my mind was to give him "jobs" to help with right alongside you while you work. I thought the positive reinforcement chart someone suggested was a good idea too. It's so easy to make suggestions when you're not the one living through it though! Someday you will be able to tell these stories to his future wife and warn her if they have boys of their own. :) Good luck!
Amy, I am so sorry you are at your wits end. I wish I were closer so he could come play at my house for a while when you need some time out. I have no advice, I think you are a wonderful mom and are doing just fine. Every kid has their thing, and I am sure he will outgrow it- hopefully before you go crazy! Benson is a "dumper" too, so I know how it goes. Hang in ther!
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